Finding out that you’re expecting a baby is usually a time of celebration and joy, but nine months of hormones, fears and excitement can strain any relationship
Although much of the attention is (rightly) on the mom-to-be, it’s also important to stay connected to your partner all the way up to the birth. Here are some tips on keeping the love alive.
BODY LOGIC
When you first even consider having a baby, you understand that this will change your body shape, but what many of you may not be expecting is how it changes your own relationship with your body – or that sometimes you might feel self conscious about being bigger and clumsier. “Let your partner know what you are going through, but in moderation. Let them know how you feel about your changing body so that he can support you, but avoid ongoing discussions about issues of your digestive tract for example, which may water down any possibility of romance,” advises clinical psychologist Jeanine Lamusse.
Remember that you’re not the only one dealing with a lot of changes – your partner is also trying to figure out how to relate to someone who is physically changing, but very often, also changing psychologically too. “Yes, the physical changes are about you, but it does affect the way the sexual relationship develops,” says Dr Antoinette Miric, a psychiatrist with a special interest in women’s mental health issues. Some men might not like sex at all during pregnancy, and it’s because they nd the whole concept weird, she says.
In Jeanine’s experience, many women avoid sex during pregnancy, for many reasons – their changing body, but also because of things like morning sickness.